Sunday before I drove to Newton for the Generations of Faith meeting, I popped into the sacristy to drop off a couple of envelopes. One of our cantors happened to be there and when I told her where I was heading she said, "Get a few more [vocations]."
"That's you're job," I said to her. "Parents and parishioners need to ask young men to consider the priesthood. My fellow parishioners asked me to think about it and here I am. Without their support and encouragement I would not be here."
She then asked about the possibility of having a class for parents about talking to their children about vocations.
It's a great idea, really, and I'll be happy to meet with her after Easter to begin planning such a thing. But before we do, I'd like to ask this: Has this already been done? What ought we to include?
Your thoughts and suggestions would be most welcome. Many thanks in advance!
I think having a program for parents is a real unique idea. I would imagine that many vocations are unintentionally passed over by well meaning parents who steer their sons away from choosing the priesthood as their vocation.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent of an only child, I admit that the prospect of not having a daughter-in-law and grandchildren is sad. But I hope that if this were my son's calling, I would encourage his vocation.
I've never heard of it elsewhere. You're on to something with this one.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right, Ellen. Many parents - and others besides - may not actively discourage a vocation, but they don't actively encourage one, either. A balanced approach must be had.
ReplyDeleteI am all for parenting classes! Parents are the primary catechists after all. The problem is that so many of the parents were poorly catechized... they need to understand more in order to be able to truly encourage their children to vocations. Even our children's catechesis classes could be doing more than we are at times...
ReplyDeleteHaving taught in the children's classes last year, I was struck by the 'chair warming' attitude of many children. They were there because it was what they had to do, or because it was just what they did... most of them had very little knowledge of the faith and this was 5th graders! The ones who did get good catechesis at home were bored and not challenged.
We needed a way to capture these kids imaginations, to show them that religious vocations were more than what they could see. So we have added a children's book club to our education program for the 4th-6th graders. They come once a week and sit around with a snack listening as I read to them from stories intended to do just that. We have read some fun stuff that gives them insight into the faith, like The Chronicles of Narnia, but we also read saint stories, stories of martyrs, stories of missionary life etc so that the kids begin to see that their faith not only has legs, but that Gods servants are heroes to admire and strive to imitate as well.
Anne, I agree with you completely. We have failed in recent decades to teach what we believe.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work that you do!
I think part of that balance is to present it as a possibility, but not to push it or speak against it.
ReplyDeleteSome for instances:
the other day, my son did something very generous for his mom. She said to him "someday you are going to have a very lucky wife, IF YOU GET MARRIED". IOW, don't assume that his vocation is to marriage, but don't deny it either.
If a list of jobs is presented, include the priesthood (I know, it isn't a job, but...). For instance, discussing the importance of doing math homework "no matter what you do in life, you will need math. Whether you become an engineer, priest, or a sales clerk, you will need to be able to handle math."
Priests are very busy (esp. here where our pastor has 3 parishes by himself), but any opportunity to interact wiht him is welcome since it allows him to see some of the real life manifestations of the vocation.
BTW, we try to do the same things with our girls, but it takes much more effort since nuns are much more endangered species. But, we visit a local poor Clares monastery where they can hear the sisters behind the mysterious screen. They also see religious sisters in a girls club ever month or so.
I hope others suggest ideas and comments. Very important topic.
As the sister of 2 priests & the mother of one (& the godmother of a wonderful young woman who joined the convent last year), I want to throw in my two cents. The class is a good idea but its just that, a one shot deal. If our faith is just something we pull down off the shelf on Sundays or weddings or funerals, the class isn't going to change anything. Its got to be the Relationship that sets the rhythm for our whole lives.
ReplyDeleteI've also been a bit appalled recently to see & hear parents say things like "He's supposed to be my vocation" in ear shot of their son. Even its said in a joking way, the supposition is that this is somehow a reflection of the parent or something. At any rate, comments like this put unnecessary pressure on young people and I wouldn't be surprised if it drives them away from considering a vocation to religious life.
Bottom line, parents (grandparents, godparents) basically just need to live their faith in joy & "pray, hope & don't worry". I really think God's completely capable of taking care of the rest.
I'll play devil's advocate and say that I don't see enough priests and vowed religious encouraging young people to consider their vocation to religious life. A quick personal story: the first time a priest ever told me that he thought I should consider the seminary was right after I'd asked him to celebrate my wedding Mass.
ReplyDeleteWhat I, as parent of two young boys, would like to do as they get older is a) make sure they are engaged in the parish, as servers and in various classes, b) serve as an example for them by modeling prayer and respect for the clergy, and c) make sure they know, personally, some priests/brothers! That shouldn't be too hard, considering that I count many as friends, but it is something I need to remind myself to be aware of.
The flip side of that, of course, is that priests and religious need to make themselves available to young people and be willing to discuss their own vocations. In my experience, there seems to be some reluctance to do this, which is a shame. I can encourage my kids, but I can't be a model for religious life to them.
Father Daren,
ReplyDeleteThis is a much needed avenue, thanks for expressing the interest!
A few weeks ago, I spoke at a Marriage Renewal Day here in Cincinnati. As Director of Vocations, I didn't necessarily have a lot to say about marriage, but I did have some things to share about families as a seedbed of vocations. I think a series of classes could be spun out of the talk I gave that day, which can (mostly) be found here: http://www.cincinnativocations.org/parents_seedbed.shtml
I got a lot of positive feedback from that day as I tried to give as much concrete things that families could do to help promote vocations among their children. I gladly offer it here.
I repeat, as I do many times, PRAY!! That is where the vocation is first heard.
God Bless! I hope you are having a wonderful Holy Thursday, and that you have a prayerful and powerful Good Friday and joyous Vigil.
In Christ,
Fr. Kyle Schnippel
Vocation Director
Archdiocese of Cincinnati
As Amy Welborn has suggested that we come here to give suggestions on what parents can do to encourage vocations, here are mine. Children want to become what their parents admire (and what the culture admires). We know what the culture admires: money, power, sexual attractiveness, popularity. So much for a religious vocation. Those who want to encourage vocations have to over come this.
ReplyDeleteHow to do this (along with praying with your children eveyday and taking them to Mass with joy on Sundays, and even weekdays):
1. Never criticize clergy or priests in the presence of your children, rather praise them.
2. When children ask you whom you admire: name priests and sisters, or, if you cannot do that, name a saint who was a priest or none.
3. If asked "what should I do when I grow up," mention priest, nun, monk, etc., along with or instead of doctor, lawyer, president of the U.S.
4. Make remarks praising the pope, the church, living saints.
5. Ask priests and nuns to your house and be excited they are coming.
Children are smart. They will get the message that being a priest or nun is something wonderful. All you can do then is hope that they will remember this when MTV, newspapers, and the mass media tell them just the opposite.
I am grateful for each of your replies. I will try to respond briefly to each of you.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 1: Balance certainly is very important, as is the presence of a priest and his willingness to be involved to one degree or another. We do need to work with our young girls, too, and this is something I also hope to include in these classes. Thank you!
Anonymous 2: Thanks for tossing in your change :c] God certainly is capable of taking care of the rest, but as you say, children often feel discouraged from a vocation or - worse - pressured toward one. The aim of these classes is to help parents create a faith-filled environment at home where everyone - parents and children - can respond generously to the Lord wherever he leads. Thank you!
Jonathan: I agree with you. Too many priests and religious speak less than enthusiastically - to put it mildly - about their vocations. Just last week I was talking with another priest about encouraging vocations and he wondered how we could "sell" the priesthood when he is so exhausted and overworked himself. I was saddened because he didn't seem to find joy in his exhaustion which, strange as it sounds, is very possible indeed. Your aims as a parent are precisely what I want to help other parents seek to provide for their children. There is a relunctance on the part of priests and religous to share their vocation stories with children, for reasons I do not understand. I have always found children and young adults very open in listening to me, very often engaging me in conversation afterwards. Thank you!
Father Kyle: I will be sure to take a look at your talk; thank you for offering it! A blessed and holy Vigil to you, as well! Thanks, Father!
Anonymous 3: Thank you for your five tips. Straightforward and simple as they are, I'm not sure too many parents think about them. I have been at my current parish almost two years now, and I've only been invited to five families' homes. I was just invited to another last night. I'll be sure to include your "steps" as a handout, maybe even a bookmark. Thank you!