A new version of the Creed

In the comments on Amy's post about Bishop Trautman's article, Mark Jacobson propses a new translation of the Creed. This follows nicely on my post about The Message. Jacobson's Creed is as follows:

God is our strong Dad, and he made everything.He has a Son, Jesus, who tells us what to do. He's a lot like his Dad and has been around forever. He made everything, too. Mary was His Mom because God made it happen and because Jesus wanted to help us.

Jesus had a hard life, died on a piece of wood shaped like an X, and was put in the hole in the ground. After 3 days he was alive and went to a happy place next to his Dad. He's coming back someday to tell us how we're doing.

The good part of God who has no body tells us what to do, too, and keeps us living and he gave some people some good things to write about a long time ago. We clap and sing and thank all of God.

There's one good church that's everywhere and that's been around a long time. There's one washing away of the bad stuff we have. We are happy that we will live after we die. We are happy that we will be happy someday in a happy place for a long, long happy time.

Also in the comments, Patrick A gives a new translation of the Hail Mary:

Greetings Mary, jam-packed with grace.The big Guy is with you.You are really a stand-out compared to other women.And awesome is the product of your uterus. Jesus.Really good person, Mary, God's mommy, Ask God to look the other way at our goof-ups.Now, and when a doctor decides my quality of life is not worth living. Okay.