Reflections on confessions

There once was a time when I thought I would not want to hear the confessions of close friends. Most of us already know the major faults of our close friends, but to know those things which are between them and God seemed too much to bear. Such is no longer the case for me.

I am happy to know some of the high school students rather well and to count them as friends. I am certain these friendships will continue over the years, even after my coming move.

Over the past few days I have heard the confessions of a few of our students. When they want to go to confession they simply call or text me and we arrange a time. It is an easy and convenient system for all involved.

After going to confession recently, one of the students said to me, “I’m going to have a long way to go to confession when you move to Virden.”

I reminded the student that there are other priests who will be happy to hear a confession. The student answered, “But I like going to you; you make it easy and I always feel better afterwards.” “Well,” I said, “I’m sure I can meet you half-way.”

This conversation was deeply humbling. They are not afraid to seek out a priest whom they call a friend to confess their sins to; why should a priest, then, be hesitant to hear the confessions of his friends, young or old? Is this really not what friendship is about, leading one another closer to Jesus Christ and helping each other on the path of holiness? There is certainly no better way to help one another than this.

These students have taken to heart what I have so often told them. Time and again I have told them that when a priest enters the confessional he is given what we priests sometimes call “the grace of forgetfulness.”

We do not generally remember what people confess to us. We might recall what sins were named; we might recall who entered the confessional; but we are not always able to match the two. Really, who would want to? You enter the confessional to get rid of your sins; why would the priest want to keep them?

But even if we do happen to remember a person’s sins we are forbidden to treat them any differently after the confessional than before. How is this possible?

In human terms, it likely isn’t, except for the most noble of souls. In spiritual terms, though, it is not too difficult at all. Remember the grace of forgetfulness. I have found that when I do remember an individual person’s sin, I don’t remember it when I am with that person. I may remember the sin once the person has left my presence and then I offer a prayer for him or her. It is a wonderful gift!