My dear friends in Christ, may the Lord give you peace!
We gather this afternoon to witness and celebrate the love that N. and N. share one for the other, a love that ultimately comes from Christ himself. We gather to witness the exchange of their consent to love each other faithfully and exclusively for the rest of their days as they commit themselves to mirror the love of Christ for his Bride, the Church.
I welcome each of you, their family and friends, to share in this solemn celebration, and I greet you with affection. On behalf of N. and N., I thank you for your prayerful support and encouragement; let me also express to you their joy and gratitude at your presence here today.
Of the many blessings with which life is filled, few compare to the great gift of love, this love which N. and N. are about to pledge to each other this day for the rest of their days. Let us now reflect upon the wonder of love. To do so, I ask you to permit me to speak directly to the couple; you are certainly welcome to listen in.
N. and N., you have invited us here to share in your joy, to share in the love you have for each other. This love, we know, ultimately comes from Christ Jesus and is always to mirror and reflect his love for the Church. We, your family and friends, and I, the Church’s minister, are truly happy to be here with you today.
You have chosen for us today the beautiful and moving reading from the Book of Tobit. This short book is a profound example of faithful love. Tobit says he “alone went often to Jerusalem for the feasts, as it is ordained for all Israel by an everlasting decree” (Tobit 1:6); that is, of all Israel most had turned from the Lord, but Tobit remained faithful. He married Anna and she gave birth to their son, Tobias. Tobit was taken into exile in Nineveh, but because he was faithful to the Lord even there he quickly gained favor with the king.
Tobit was a generous man. “I would give my bread to the hungry and my clothing to the naked” he says; “and if I saw any one of my people dead and thrown out behind the wall of Nineveh, I would bury him” (Tobit 1:17). Doing so meant that Tobit disobeyed the orders of the emperor and put his life in jeopardy, but he would not cease doing good. After burying a dead kinsman and being made unclean, Tobit slept outside and was blinded by a bird. He then prayed to the Lord for healing.
Meanwhile, back in Media, Sarah, the daughter of Raguel, was possessed by the demon Asmodeus and unknowingly strangled seven husbands within the bridal chamber. Being her father’s only child she brought disgrace upon him by not giving him an heir. Sarah prayed to the Lord for the birth of a child to give honor to her family.
In answer to their prayers the Lord sent the Archangel Raphael to heal Tobit’s blindness, to give Sarah to Tobias in marriage, and to bind up Asmodeus the demon (cf. Tobit 3:16).
Raphael tells Tobias how to deal with the demon Asmodeus and how to cure his father’s blindness. Tobias follows his instructions and entered Sarah’s room to take her as his wife. After fulfilling the angel’s instructions, Tobias and Sarah offer the beautiful prayer read for us today.
Throughout this inspired book, we learn the great importance of fidelity to God, of praising God, of generous giving and of steadfast prayer. We shall now say a few words about each of these.
First is the importance of fidelity – of faithfulness – to God. In their difficulties and hardships, Tobit, Sarah and Tobias were faithful to the Lord and did not turn their backs on him. Because of their fidelity, the Lord answered their prayers.
Indeed, we know that God’s own love for us is a faithful love, a love that “never fails” (I Corinthians 13:8).
God’s relationship with Israel is described using the metaphors of betrothal and marriage; idolatry is thus adultery and prostitution… The history of the love-relationship between God and Israel … consists in the fact that man, through a life of fidelity to the one God, comes to experience himself as loved by God and discovers joy in truth and in righteousness – a joy in God which becomes his essential happiness.[1]God “sent his only Son as expiation for our sins” (I John 4:10). “In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only-begotten Son into the world so that we might have life through him” (I John 4:9). Here then we come to realize that
God’s passionate love for his people – for humanity – is at the same time a forgiving love. It is so great that it turns God against himself, his love against his justice… so great is God’s love for man that by becoming man he follows him even into death, and so reconciles justice and love.[2]This is faithful love, love that knows no bounds. It is this same love, this same fidelity, that you, N. and N., are to mirror for each other each day of your lives. When you look upon your spouse, you are to see the faithful love of God and you are to extend that love.
Second we see the importance of praising God. The prayers of Tobit, Sarah and Tobias each begin in praise of the Most High, recalling what he has done for them in the past and confident of what he will do in the future.
To be able to praise God we must be in relationship with him so that we can be aware of his goodness towards us. One of God’s greatest gifts to you, N. and N., is that “love between man and woman which is neither planned nor willed, but somehow imposes itself upon human beings” that has drawn the two of you together in love.[3] Give praise to God each day of your lives for this wondrous gift.
Third is the importance of generous giving that we see through the example of Tobit and Tobias. The love that has drawn the two of you to each other is the same love that joins you together so that you “shall become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5). This love that draws you together is the love of Jesus Christ; it is that love that went all the way to the Cross to redeem us; it is this love that knows no end. If this love draws you together today, it must be shared with everyone who comes into contact with you; this love cannot be selfishly hoarded, but must be generously shared.
Fourth is the importance of prayer, of an intimate relationship with the Lord. The Lord has given you to each other so that this relationship may deepen with each passing day. As such, the two of you are taking on a specific duty.
N., your first duty as a husband will be to do all that you can to ensure that N. grows in holiness and is welcomed into the eternal wedding banquet of the Lamb of God. N., your primary duty as a wife will be to do all that you can to ensure that N. grows in holiness and is welcomed into the eternal wedding banquet of the Lamb of God. Together, then, you will love each other as Christ has first loved you, seeking only the good of the other, never thinking of your own good.
Only through prayer will you ever help each other grow daily in holiness and in greater union with the Crucified and Risen Lord. Only when you consider each other’s growth in holiness more important than even your own life will you realize Jesus’ command for you, to “love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12).
This is certainly a tall order and a difficult one, and if you attempt to fulfill this duty alone you will fail for Jesus reminds us: “without me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Pope Benedict reminds us that in order “to become such a source [of love], one must constantly drink anew from the original source [of love], which is Jesus Christ, from whose pierced heart flows the love of God [cf. John 19:34].”[4] You must daily seek the grace of the Lord to love in this way. You cannot do it alone. If you ask him, you will have the help and support of the Lord. If you ask us, you will have also the help and support of your family and friends. If you ask her, you will have the help and support of holy Mother Church.
Together, then, we will all grow in love of - and in love with - the Lord Jesus Christ, all through the love that we see in you. May your love always bear witness to the love of Christ for his bride, the Church. “May the Lord be with you always and, wherever you are, may you be with Him always. Amen.”[5]
[1] Pope Benedict XVI, Deus caritas est, 9.
[2] Ibid., 10.
[3] Ibid., 3.
[4] Ibid, 7.
[5] Saint Clare of Assisi, Blessing 13.
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