Ugh

One of these days people will start listening to me, though I will not hold my breath until then.

Sometime over the weekend a bird found its way into the church. Apparently the bird was in the church Sunday morning, flying around throughout the 11:00 a.m. Mass, which I celebrated. I also celebrated Mass in the church yesterday morning at 6:30 a.m. I was completely unaware of the bird until someone mentioned it to me last night about 6:30 p.m.

How I missed the bird fluttering around the reredos during mass is beyond me. Because of these observational skills, my family often dubs me the "Master of the Obvious," a title of which I am rather proud.

Now, I may not notice a bird flying around; or a corn field that has been growing for months and is now ready for harvest; or that a house has been torn down, the wreckage of which I've driven past every day for a week, but I will most always notice a crooked picture. I don't know why. Perhaps this is why people don't always listen to me; I can often come across as a bit of an idiot. It's part of my charm.

However, I do know how to get a bird out of a church. Apparently it was decided sometime yesterday afternoon to try to catch the bird in a trap. It didn't work yesterday so it was tried again this morning after the 8:30 a.m. Mass, which I celebrated.

I said to the trapper, you try it your way and I'll try it my way; we'll see who's works.

I proceeded to the main entrance of the church and flung open the doors, propping them open. Within five minutes the bird flew out of the church and the doors were closed behind him. Problem solved, thank you very much. It couldn't have been simpler. Why nobody tried it before is simply beyond me.