Thanks to the generous help of our retired priest, I finally have a chance to reflect on the events of this past week following the sudden death of Coach K, who collapsed Wednesday evening on the soccer field toward the end of practice.
The days following have been extremely busy for me, filled largely with arrangements about the soccer program. There was much to be done and boys to be cared for.
Shortly after the boys left the church following the prayers for the dead, one of the players sent me a text message, saying, “Hey all the soccer players want to have this tournament don’t let em cancel it”. That was all I needed to know. They wanted to play in the tournament held this weekend in honor of Coach K. He was only their coach for about two weeks, but he taught them much.
I’ve slept precious little since Wednesday, but with each passing night I have slept a bit more (five hours last night). The shock of it all and the work to be done has largely kept me from reflecting on the events as I know I need too.
This morning I was to leave to with some of the high school students on a work camp. With Coach K’s services set for Tuesday, I knew I would have to stay behind and hoped to join them Wednesday evening and return with them on Saturday. For reasons that elude and baffle me, I am told it is not possible for me to arrive late. As frustrating as this is – and as much as it angers on me on account of the kids as they were very much looking forward to my being with them (some are still trying to convince to go so they can “sneak me in”) – it is also affording me, at long last, a couple of days to process what has occurred.
I stopped by to visit our retired priest Friday evening and explained the situation to him, asking him to take my Masses for the next few days as originally planned, even though I would remain in Effingham. I simply lacked the emotional, spiritual and physical strength to keep going as I had been. So much of my energy has been expended for others since Wednesday – especially for the soccer team – that until today I had spent little on myself. Friday I especially began to feel the weight of it all. I simply could not minister more to others until I gave the Lord the time to minister to me.
Our retired priest graciously agreed to celebrate the Masses as planned. May the Lord reward him for his goodness!
This has been a lesson well learned. My first instinct is always to give all that I have for others. In the future I must also remember to give some time for myself as well. If I know myself as well as I think I do, I will need to continually be reminded of this. Intellectually I know the truth of this need for me, but my heart would break if I didn’t care first for others.
Today and tomorrow I intend to keep a low profile in Effingham and I am even considering turning off the phones for the afternoon so I don’t have to answer questions about the evening Mass that we haven’t had here in nearly a decade. (If any emergencies arrive, those who would need me have my cell number.)
The quiet morning has already borne much fruit for me. It is very rare that a priest is able to take Sunday as a true day of rest, a special gift given me today. The Lord knows I needed it and in his love arranged it to be so.
I celebrated the evening Mass yesterday and preached from a quickly sketched outline. I may get around to typing it out more fully for you this afternoon, and I may not. Either way, you now know why a homily has not yet been posted this weekend.
No comments:
Post a Comment